2020 was a heck of a year, wasn’t it? My favorite commercials were the ones where 2020 is a woman who meets Satan on Match.com. So apropos!! But guess what? If you’re reading this, you made it through it. For some of you, your recovery program is stronger than ever, but for others, you may feel as if you’ve gotten lost somewhere or as if you’re not as connected to your recovery as you were before all this. Don’t worry, this is completely understandable and totally normal. What we went through with this pandemic was unprecedented! We people in recovery had to adapt. We can be grateful we learned that we can stay connected and continue building a solid program of recovery by whatever means necessary. 2020 taught us to keep putting one foot in front of the other as a community.
I really missed all those warm hugs I used to get from my sober friends. I missed the intimacy of small, in-person, group meetings and the fellowship of large group meetings. I remind myself, though, the important thing is I stayed sober. My takeaway from 2020 is: if I want to continue to stay sober, I have to make sure my program is working for me, today, on today’s terms.
In Part One of this series, I gave you Melody Beattie’s definition of codependency from her book, “Codependent No More.” She says, a codependent person is someone “who has let someone else’s behavior affect him or her, and is obsessed with controlling other people’s behavior.”
This was the playbook for my entire life. So, now that I understood codependency, what could I do about it? Imagine trying to change a pattern of behavior that you have been learning since birth and have been practicing faithfully for your entire life. Unlikely right? Unless…you are highly motivated to do it. By the time I got sober from alcohol, the depth of my misery was awfully motivating.
This is a blog series that will be focusing on a tip every few days for newcomers. These tips are not a replacement for going to meetings and working the 12 steps. They are to be used in addition to meetings and steps. The first few months of sobriety are hard. These are some ways to help get you through it.
In the last article we talked about changing your environment by surrounding yourself with positive people, things and experiences. I hope these tips have been helpful so far. Today we are going to talk about getting Higher Powered.
We All Come in to Recovery Disconnected
This is a touchy subject for some people. Either they don’t believe in a Higher Power, they don’t believe that a Higher Power can help them with their addiction, they are mad at their Higher Power, they have Faith but their Faith hasn’t kept them sober yet, or they just don’t know what to believe. Do any of these sound familiar to you? Well, welcome to recovery then because we all come in with some sort of disconnection to a Higher Power. That’s why in the book *Alcoholics Anonymous they dedicated a whole chapter to this subject called We Agnostics.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 45
The Set Aside Prayer
God, please help me to set aside everything I think I know about You, everything I think I know about myself, everything I think I know about others, and everything I think I know about my own recovery, for a new experience in You God, a new experience in myself, a new experience in my fellows, and a much needed new experience in my own recovery. Amen